My journey to the finish line.

I went into Saturday with little sleep and nerves that never seemed to settle down. As I stepped out the door, I felt the air hit my skin and refresh my energy. The car ride was quite and relaxing. I did not speak, I pondered about the race. The unknown had my mind racing it's own marathon. "Would I finish? How will my body handle this challenge? What if I do not make it to the finish line?" Those were some of the many thoughts that crossed my mind on the way to the start line.

The sound of the trax train and my music was all that I heard on my way to the beginning of a long run. I visualized myself running a good race and tried to block out any negative thoughts that were trying to consume my mind. Exiting the trax train I could feel the similarities with others that I was feeling myself.

I waited in the long line to use the bathroom before the air horn was to go off. I spoke with others about the race. Some were scared, some were nervous and others were excited. Trying to keep my body warm, I kept my running pants and jacket on. As I grew closer to the bathroom I decided it was time to shed the clothing and get ready for this race. I don't know if I kept the warm clothes on to keep me warm or if I kept them on because I did not want to feel the reality that I was about to run 26.2 miles.

I opened up the new bottle of sunscreen. I sprayed the lotion on my legs, arms and then my face. Have you ever had sun tan lotion in your eyes? It is not the best feeling in the world. In the distance I heard my team, "Kevan! Were about to start! Hurry up!" Making my way to the start line with my right sleeve cleaning out the sun screen from my eye I heard a lady ask me, "Are you crying?" I laughed and explained what happened between the sunscreen and I. I replied, "I'm sure I will cry some where along this course."

The air horn sounded, I looked down to start and realized two important things I had forgotten to do. 1. Stretch and 2. To tie my shoes. I went to the side of the road and proceeded to tie my shoes. I could here the running steps of what seemed to be 1,000 people. Worries started to cloud my mind, "You are being left behind. All these people are going to finish sooner than you."

At this time, I remembered what my Uncle had told me. "Don't let the start get to you. Take it slow. Don't run over your pace."

I started my pace out about 1 minute and thirty seconds over my regular pace. At mile 1, I decided it would be a wise idea to stretch and I am thankful I did. I worked my way back onto the course feeling good and loose. As I was running, I heard two girls behind me whispering and then one asked me, "Are you running this race for Dillon Hofeling?" On the back of my jersey I wrote, "Running for Dillon." I answered their question and they expressed to me how nice that was. At that moment, I recalled exactly what I was running for and all those nerves in the beginning shadowed my purpose for running this race. The awakening was well needed.

Miles 1-13:

From what I heard, these miles were not very hard due to the energy that is present in the beginning of the race. I caught up with my team at about mile 10 and ran with Coach Te Koi to about mile 13 or so. He went back to get some other teammates and I continued on my journey to the finish line.

Miles 14-20:

My family was to meet me at mile 20. Everything felt fine. I called my sister at mile 15 and told her I would be to mile 20 in about an hour or so. If I could take anything back during this race, it would have been that call. I was so anxious to see my family that I out did myself and ran a faster pace time than I should have. Mile 17 seemed to take forever and at the time, I was beginning to think my watch was off. Of course,I was trying to confince myself that there must be something wrong and that is why the miles were not going fast like 1-13 did. I threw on some running music, mostly the soundtrack from, "Rocky IV" and next thing I knew, there was my family. They suprised me with a visit at about mile 19. I cannot explain how much that helped. I stopped and talked to them for about 5 minutes and then went on my way.

Miles 20-21

I believe I explained in a previous post about hitting the, "Runner's wall." I tried to turn up my music and sing out loud, that did not help. All I could think about was a quote I heard while watching a movie about marathons. The runner said,

"At some point in a marathon, the distance is greater than the human ability to physically transcend it."

I hit that point on mile 21. I saw my pace was falling behind and realized at one point, I was walking and not even jogging. My mind was in one zone and my body was in another. During this mile, this is where I knew I had to figure something out or else I wasn't going to finish. I leaned up against a fence and pondered about Dillon, I pondered about the miles I had conquered, I also pondered about the finish line. There wasn't one thing that really helped me finish, it was quanity of little things that helped me. I stretched a little and continued on my way.

Mile 22-24:

"Just make it to that light and then you can walk. Just make it to that cop car and you can walk for a little." Those were things that pushed me during the race. I recall trying to make it to a cop car and stopping about 20 feet before and I started walking and then forced myself to keep running. My body was spent and I started to wonder how I was going to finish this race. On the side of the road I saw some people handing out water. I drank about three cups of water and then I saw a man hand me a big orange slice. At the time, I thought this man was an angel. Oranges never tasted so good. I then grabbed another one from a lady that was about 30 feet behind the first guy. I felt those oranges give me a little bit of energy. I had pushed my body so far that it had no energy left. Without those oranges, I am sure I would have shut down completely. At about mile 24 there was a gentleman handing out pretzels. Those tasted just as good as the oranges. That little boost of energy carried me forward to mile 25.

Mile 25:

I turned the corner and saw that mile 25 was uphill. "Why not?" I thought. I tried to run that hill and I struggled with it. I ended up walking the hill and then ran on and off until I made it up that hill. I cannot express how excited I was to know that I was only 1 mile away from finishing this marathon. Coach Tammy saw me and cheered me on and her excitement carried me forward.

Mile 26.2

I could hear the crowds cheers as I was finishing my last mile. One more block to go and I'm in the home stretch. Once I heard those cheers, those feelings of being tired and beat were no longer there. I felt energy that I could have never imagined during this race. People that I have never met, seen or will most likely never see again were cheering me on. I looked over in the distance and there was the finish line and my family. I wish I could express to you the way I felt when I saw that. It's something you have to experience for yourself. All the days of training, ITBS issues, sore legs, feeling tired, running in the wind and the cold, all of these things crossed my mind and then I thought, "I DID IT! I FINISHED!" I cried the whole way across the finish line. So many emotions were going through me. I did not lie to that lady at the start. I did end up crying some where along the course but little did I know at that time, it would be at the finish line.

One last post before the race.

Over $50,000 raised for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

It's hard to believe that the marathon is only one day away. The time flew by with this training and now I am worried I didn't train hard enough. I'm sure the worries that I have are normal. I have worries of not being able to finish. I have worries about how my body will handle this long distance challenge. I think my biggest worry is trying to get past what runners call, "The Wall." That's when your body tells you it cannot go any further and wants to shut down. You have to find some way to tell your mind that it can continue on. I have loaded up my Ipod with some motivational music and will only use it when times get tough on the course.

Running in the cold, snow and some times rain, going home tired and sore, fighting through issues with my IT bands and even trying to find the motivation to get out and run, I wouldn't take this back for anything. I have learned a very valuable lesson with this training and if there were marathon Gods, they sure didn't take it easy on me with this training. I remember the days having a hard time walking and the pain I had to endure with my IT bands. All of this is nothing compared to what cancer patients go through. My pain is temporary, their pain is permanent until there is a cure.

I have learned many lessons along the way with this training. I have met many great people and have made many friends that will be with me through the rest of my life. I believe the biggest lesson I learned was to put Kevan aside and concentrate my energy on something that was more important and that was my friend Dillon. There are times on my runs where I get tired and I feel I need to stop. Certain things have pushed me through that but the one thought that helped the most was, "This is not for you. Stop being so selfish and realize you are doing this for Dillon and others. Push yourself! You can do it! You're almost there. Find whatever it is inside of you to keep going." Would I say those things out loud while running on roads where there was no soul in site? I would.

I am very grateful that I decided to do this marathon. I recall when I was debating on whether to do this or not. I am very glad I said yes to this. I remember my boss saying, "Well now you have to do this. You have committed yourself. You will look stupid if you back out." Without this training, I wouldn't be the person I am right now. I wouldn't say I have a different appearance. The biggest changes have happened inside. Changes I cannot explain and that are only felt.

My quest to run a marathon was about 5-6 years ago. Throughout all those years, I some how managed to stop training and got side tracked by other things. One day I went to the gateway on a Saturday and saw them setting up the finish line for the marathon. I had so much regret that day and it ate at me. It still eats at me to this day. Team in Training was the best thing for me with my training. It taught me to run for some one other than myself. Without this team, I wouldn't be where I am at now and once again I would see this marathon continue on without me. To know that I will be participating this year is an amazing feeling. I have trained hard and I have committed myself to this.

I know this may sound weird to some but I am some what excited to push my body to it's limit. At some point in a marathon, the distance is greater than the human ability to physically transcend it. It will be interesting to see just how far I can go and how it will feel when I cross that finish line. I am sure I will be emotional. I am already emotional just thinking about it. I am sure I will cry like a little baby. Some may not understand that. But after all this training and crossing that finish line for Dillon and others will be very overwhelming to me.

"Once you cross that finish line, no matter how slow, no matter how fast, it will change your life forever."

-Dick Beardsley-